It’s finally snowing here. And I woke up with a very swollen knee. It’s not bending correctly, and it’s just big and warm to the touch. I blame my boyfriend. You can put the pieces together.

I’m calling sillyness back in. The part of me that has fun in every circumstance. That person who laughs when someone farts at a funeral. And I’m calling in a silliness that can be experienced with anyone. Not just people I feel safe to “be myself” around.

That’s usually how my silliness and my joy worked.

I had to feel safe enough to let go, to be free. Feel safe enough that you weren’t going to hurt me to let my shining out.

And I shine in my joy through my humor; it is truly my gift.

And I’m not exaggerating when I say people tell me I’m the funniest person they know. And yes, that does go to my head, but I can still get out the door.

And I love the most of everything to just laugh with people, truly. If someone asked what your hobby is, I would tell them that: laughing with friends.

But I’m in this season where I let a lot of friends go. First, my closest friends, when I asked for some space while I went through a spiritual awakening. I didn’t know what was going on at the time, but I know now that was it.

And those that haven’t gone through a spiritual awakening don’t know how rocking to the system it is. You feel like you’re going crazy. Your worldview is shifting radically. You might go from never feeling spirits to seeing ghosts. Seriously. This wasn’t what happened to me, but it’s the kind of thing that can happen

It sounds stupid, but my whole world was flipping upside down, and I didn’t know what to do. I thought they would think I was crazy (in a lot of ways, they already did), and I wanted to just grow without judgment.

Then, I left Boulder, CO, where I had a great community. Of people I absolutely cracked up with and had a lot of fun with.

And…